He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
