It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
NoShamevember. You game?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
