So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
