i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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