i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize