Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
