Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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