Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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