Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
