whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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