things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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