So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
