I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
