There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
