Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
