I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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