Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
