Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
