David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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