I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
