This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
