Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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