People with herpes should wear stickers.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
