You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize