We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
