I showed him my bush... on skype.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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