you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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