I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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