So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
