She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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