found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
