Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
