I want to make a zoo with you.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
