I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
