nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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