i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
