i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
