singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
