Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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