why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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