3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
