She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
