belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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