The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize