he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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