So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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