You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
