she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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