My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
