are you still at the devil's house?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
