saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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