Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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