alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
