I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
MIDGETS
????
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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