And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have tasted many bathrooms
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
