On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
