I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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