Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just want to make out with him forever
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
