Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
