I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
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