Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
