if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
