Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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