so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
