my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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