This girl is more easily done than said...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
