i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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